Out of touch

I haven’t been feeling like myself lately... perhaps it’s the fact that I have been unemployed for months. I have no regrets leaving my prior waitressing job, but since I’m not enrolled in any classes boredom has taken over my life. I’ve even grown tired of alcohol. I have nothing to celebrate and my intoxication results in violence. I have no interest in that. It seems that being Hmong, that is the only hobby available. There must be something more to life. I wait all day for my boyfriend whose tired when he gets home and just wants peace. I on the other hand want attention and love.

Maybe everything happens for a reason truly, with the return of my father I now have a babysitter which is nice. My sister currently has a job that makes her able to work from home. I now have options. I used to feel so helpless. I see other families whose grandparents/siblings adore and love spending time with the new baby of the family. Being that I am the second oldest with an older sister whose gone away, no one is available. Mother works all the time - dad was mia - older sister mia - younger brothers are unreliable in the fact that they simply are young - younger sister is all I have. So if any one ever reads this and have help please appreciate it.

Ps if my writing isn’t the best it’s because I’m typing from my phone and I’m not revising or editing